Diary of a Scorpio girl – Entry seven – the fund*…

The following piece of writing is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Not many people know this, in fact no one knows this, and I am not quite sure why I am even disclosing this now, but I run a secret organisation. Not to conjure up connotations of illegal activity or suspect shenanigans going on, my organisation works under the radar doing exceptionally honourable and good work but in a very stealth like way, because I can’t help everyone, though I want to, I can’t. I was given the gift of exceptional wealth not so long ago and I have invested it sensibly and as a result of the work I do I have gained the attention of several serious philanthropists who back my cause, meaning my funding is now unlimited. I never envisioned this, I always thought if I came into serious money, I would pay off my mortgage, my brothers mortgage, gift my ex-husband a substantial amount as well as gifting my closest friends a comfortable amount of money so they didn’t have to worry about money for a while and then set up a homeless charity.

But my mind, through an inexplicable clear train of thought, wanted to do something exceptional with this level of wealth, so that is what I’ve set up. I still work as a therapist, I still live in the same house I’ve lived in for a while, albeit mortgage free now, I still drive my beloved 10-year-old car and from the outside it looks like I am living exactly as I have lived before. I don’t dress any differently, I still shop at Tesco’s, I still look at the prices of everything I buy, because to me exceptional wealth does not come from money, it comes from your heart – when your heart is humble, open and generous then you are rich. I have no need for materialist things, because that is not the kind of legacy I want to leave behind, I want to help people in a way that no one has ever helped them before, almost in a ridiculous, is this actually happening kind of way. So that is what I do.

Let’s dive in, let me take you through how my organisation works and if I’m feeling a bit braver, I’ll even fill you in on my current case. The start of the process is always therapy, I provide psychotherapeutic counselling for long term clients who are in distress and feel lost and helpless, I take cases that are multi-layered and are too complex for the NHS. With these clients we’ll go quite far through the therapeutic process, and I will use everything within my therapeutic toolbox to help my client move forward, gain perspective and get themselves to a place where they either feel better, can cope better or no longer need therapy. However, there are exceptional cases where my clients can’t seem to pull themselves out of their situations, they are stuck, they feel hopeless and as much as therapy is a support to them, they can’t seem to make the changes to their life that would change everything. This is where I step in with my organisation with something I call the “fund” – as usually it’s money, or lack of, that is causing the client to feel stuck. With these clients we’ve usually worked together quite extensively, twice a week for a year, and if I find that the client is regressing and has been for a while, I will then think about using the fund as a last resort.

I very tactfully propose to the client that they have other options available to them in terms of funding, whether they are trying to move on from a marriage that is dead and are worried about financial difficulties, or they want to study again to change careers or they are in a domestic violence situation I will delicately start to explain this option of funding to them. This is where I see the glimmer of hope return to their eyes and this humbles me every time because that’s when I know, okay, this is definitely the right step for them. I then take these clients to my HQ where my organisation operates from, here I have a team of other specialised therapists, solicitors, doctors, emergency housing officers, dieticians, personal trainers, mentors and career coaches. I don’t want to overwhelm my clients so I personally take them through most of the process to gain funding, if they need solicitors or career coaches, then that comes later, as this can be quite an eye-opening process for them. It can also be particularly hard for clients to take this all in as a lot of them are very low in energy, are experiencing low mood, depression, anxiety and can be distressed so I don’t want to add to this by overcomplicating the type of help I am offering them because some of them have almost given up on their life ever getting better.

Which brings me to my most current case – I am working with an exceptionally beautiful soul, who is trapped, or rather they feel trapped, in an abusive marriage, scared to death of rocking the boat, thinking about how their decision to leave will impact every one else, rather than considering how this has broken them. I have observed them carefully over the last year, taking in everything they don’t say to me, seeing them lose the sparkle in their eyes and I care a great deal, because this is not what they deserve. Although it is not my place to rescue them and they would never want anyone to rescue them, I have felt like they are sinking, sinking fast into a deep abyss from which they don’t have the strength to pull themselves out of. So in our last session, I gave them a deep, almost uncomfortably penetrating look before I said what I said next, which was, I want to offer you something different, a different kind of help that will change your life. My client stared back at me, not quite knowing what to say. I went a bit further and said I am part of a philanthropic organisation (I never tell them it is actually my organisation) that helps with funding clients so they can move on with their lives – at this point my client is a little sceptical and isn’t sure what this is all about. This is where I say, can I show you and whether they have some time after the session for me to take them through their options. To which my client said, somewhat hesitantly, okay.

I then drive my client to my HQ, and we sit together in a very plush yet comforting meeting room, where I explain as gently as I can how I’ve helped others in their position, and I take them through what the process would involve and that I will be as open and transparent with them throughout the entire application process. That if this feels like too much, that at any point if they don’t want to continue, then they are free to back out and continue with therapy or not, what ever feels right for them. My client’s incredibly sharp mind is trying to take this all in, as I have gone from their therapist to potentially someone much more involved. They seem a little nervous, yet excited, and I like the fact that the sparkle in their eyes has returned – they gingerly say, okay tell me more, how can this help me? I explain that we need to go through some quite personal and in-depth questions about their finances, what their financial needs are and what they perceive their financial difficulties could be.  My client agrees to this and so we begin the process, and my heart starts to expand, the sparkle in my own eyes is at full illumination as I know, full well, that this exceptional client of mine will be set free by the fund.