Diary of a Scorpio girl – Entry fourteen (Fantasy edition) – finally be free*…
The following piece of writing is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
I think I have always wanted to die, from the moment I realised I was in this human body, which felt so unfamiliar to me, I knew this wasn't a world I wanted to be in. I have never wanted to do life; I've never truly been interested in anything this world has to offer. The only thing I have ever craved is love because that is the closest and most familiar thing I know. For I came from love, I came from a world of peace and serenity, zen and bliss, where pain, heartache, corruption and greed does not exist. This is why I don't belong here, and I have been trying to find my way home since the birth of my human life. Feeling this level of darkness is so unusual for a lightworker such as I, for you see I am the light. I don't see the world in the same way as most humans do, I don't think we have just one life, I don't think we're supposed to just live a good life and then that's it. I think we're supposed to transcend, we're supposed to awaken our soul and realise we are not human beings on a souls journey but rather we are a soul trying to be human. The two kind of don't mix - that is why I know this is not my home, I know this because I was born with the knowledge of where I came from before I even learnt a human language. When I looked at myself in mirror for the first time, I was shocked by what I saw, for the only part of myself that I recognised was through my eyes, every other physical part of me felt unreal - like I was wearing a costume I couldn't get out of.
I felt trapped, so many questions flooded my human brain - why am I in this vessel, who put me here, where are my people, why does everything hurt, why doesn't anyone realise this isn't real - why is everyone so busy doing things that have no real meaning. I felt like I was the only one awake in a land where everyone else was asleep. No one seemed to understand me, no one seemed to know the truth, so I had to stay quiet and learn how to be a human.
Thankfully I have managed to retain some of my original qualities as a lightworker which means I have never lost the joy I had from my world, I keep my childlike awe, I bask in humour and when I smile, I smile with my entire being. Why do you think I read people so easily and seem to know things instantly. I have the power of my entire soul, all of its peace and harmony and I use its essence to try and show humans that there is more to life than the pain, misery, drama and stress. 
None of that actually matters. What matters the most is love, connection and understanding. If humans could understand what's inside them, the unbelievably powerful source of love that exists deep inside them they wouldn't be chasing manmade interests or societal norms.
As I desperately look for the portal back to my world, I have thrown myself into the kind of work that empowers humans, that brings forth their strengths in that I will always advocate for love and for understanding. If only humans didn't judge each other on their actions, but rather asked each other "why", for you see, you never know what someone is going through, unless you are there, in the trenches fighting their battles with them.
I spend most of my time meditating, not really wanting to stay afoot on this Earth, I don't immerse myself in the inner going ons of this planet, for it is draining, especially to a lightworker - although my inner light is infinite my energy as a human is not, so I have had to learn how to recharge this vessel, for it is ill equipped at times to hold such a life force. So that is why I say I have always wanted to die for I do not enjoy this human experience. The only thing I have ever wanted is love, for it is the purest force in the galaxy and the only gateway back home to my world where my soul can finally be free.
