Diary of a Scorpio girl – Entry one – where it all began*…

The following piece of writing is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Growing up I felt so different, like what is this world I’m living in, why doesn’t it feel like home, in fact where am I – I often felt like an alien, not quite sure where I fitted in and not quite knowing what to do with all these feelings of not belonging.

This continued for me, for a long time, I would feel like I was moving and breathing just like everyone else, but I could see things and feel things that no one else seemed to be talking about. I felt it all – all the emotions, but mainly I felt all the pain, the sorrow, the anguish, I didn’t always know what to do with it all, so I kept it inside, in a deep vault, an ocean sized vault. I always wondered if there were others like me, if others felt it too, did they see what I saw, did they know what it was like to feel everything yet not have any one to share it with, or even trust it with.

I refer to myself as Scorpio girl because I was born in the month of November in the darkness of the night to a mother who was too young to really know what to do with me. My birth was not an easy one, in fact at one point, my mother gave up – her contractions stopped, and I was stuck – stuck in the birth canal, forceps were used and to this day I still feel pained to be alive, almost as though maybe I shouldn’t be because that is where it all began.